The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America
Matt Kracht (Author)
Perfect for the anti-aviary (or bird fanatic with a sense of humor), this snarky illustrated handbook is equal parts profane, funny, and-let's face it-true. Featuring 50 common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with humorous, yet angry, ink drawings. Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more. With migratory maps and tips for birding, plus musings on the avian population and the ethics of birdwatching, this is the essential guide to all things wings. No need to wonder what all that racket is anymore!
Field guides
1 online resource
9781452177397, 1452177392
1076873520
Cover; Title; Copyright; Contents; Introduction; Section 1: How to Use This Book; The Difference Between Birding and Bird Watching; Where to Look for Birds; How to Identify Birds; Bird Size; Bird Shape; Bird Behaviors; Bird Songs and Calls; Ethics; Author's Note; Section 2: The Birds; Typical Birds; American Goldfink; Black-capped Prickadee; Bushtit; Dork-eye Junco; Dumb Western Bluebird; Evening Grossbutt; Golden Crowned Dumb-Shit; Goddamn Song Sparrow; Gray Cat Turd; House Binch; Kentucky Gargler; Lameland Longspur; Palm Burglar; Pine Shitkin; Tufted Titface; Western Meadowjerk Western Wood Pew-PewWhite-breasted Butt Nugget; Backyard Assholes; Damn Crows; Dumb-Ass Robin; European Shartling; Shit-Headed Cowbird; Stupid-Ass Steller's Jay; Hummingbirds, Weirdos, and Flycatchers; Butt-chinned Hummingbird; Doofus Hummingbird; American Dickwood; Belted King-Pisser; Fucking Pigeon; Ass-throated Flycatcher; Fuck-tailed Flycatcher; Egotists and Show-offs; American Redfart; Eastern Kingbutt; Red-winged Buttwad; Scarlet Teenager; Western Kingbutt; Fuckers; Northern Fucker; Pileated Woodfucker; Red-breasted Shitsucker; Floaters, Sandbirds, and Dork-legs; Common Goon; Dullard Goddamned Canada GooseCaspian Turd; Seadull; Great Blue Moron; Limpdick; Solitary Sand-pooper; Wood Snork; Murder Birds; Crested Chacha; Great Grey Shite; Motherfucking Bald Eagle; Pooper's Hawk; Section 3: Tips for Watching Birds; Section 4: Four Seasons of Bird Watching; Spring; Summer; Fall; Winter; Section 5: Extinct Species; Carolina Parakreep; Great Ugh; Labrador Dunce; Passenger Pudgen; Section 6: Bird Feeders; Choosing the right feeder; Tray or Platform Feeder; Suet Feeder; Tube Feeder; House or Hopper Feeder; Section 7: Keeping Your Own Bird Journal; Why keep a bird journal? Journals vs. Field NotesHow to start your bird journal; Tools and tips for writing and drawing in the field; Acknowledgments; References; About the Author; Chronicle Ebooks